oleanderbat (oleanderbat) wrote,

  • Mood:

How far does the Rabbit hole go?

 So now I am officially on Lithium. It scares me to think of what changes may come. Will I get better, will the hollowness stop, the ache, the pain, the craving for sharp objects and blood, or will it get worse, will my cuts go from survival to self conclusion? It scares me. Tomorrow is the first day, the first step to either a semi balanced life or the first step to the big leap. Death scares me. The thought of a gaping nothingness on the other side, nothing. But sometimes that nothing is inviting, especially when the load I carry gets too much to bare. Even writing this makes my heart ache and pulse run. Not knowing always did drive me crazy. Tick Tock, tomorrow shall begin to reveal all, or leave me hanging until the blind bend.
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